This week, I was asked how I did with risk-taking when I was younger. I thought about it for a minute and had all these anxious feelings come up…AND, no recollections of real risk-taking. I thought a little more…I went through my jr. high and high school years and couldn’t think of any real risks I took. What DID come to mind was the lack of risks I took. I didn’t try out for football like I wanted to because I thought I was too skinny (I probably was….”chicken legs” and “thin as a pole” were nicknames I constantly heard). I didn’t continue playing basketball because I was afraid I was no good. I didn’t ask that one girl I really liked out for a date or to go with me to a school prom dance because I didn’t want to hear…”I can’t go because I have to walk the dog” or “I can’t go because I have to babysit my Grandma”. I didn’t try out for a music scholarship because I didn’t think I was good enough. I didn’t continue running cross country because I was so nervous I’d lose a race. You get the gist of my risk-taking (or lack of…).
As I got older, I realized that risk-taking is a huge part of life and that, while it may be scary or full of uncertainty, not taking risks and not “going for it” can be more detrimental to our “self”. So, I made a commitment to myself…that I would take those risks necessary to pursue dreams, ambitions, goals and desires I had. I told myself that I would face my anxieties and fears when they came my why, examine them to see if they had an validity and if they didn’t, I would not heed their warning but move forward and jump off the edge.
It’s been liberating and I have experienced a sense of freedom and joy that I didn’t have in my previous years. I’ve started my own corporate chaplaincy service where I provide care for over 350 employees. I’ve pursued my ministry calling/passion. I’ve stood up for myself and others when there’s injustice. I’ve learned to constructively share with others how I really feel. I’ve started running again and continue to play drums when called on. I’m going to seminary to get my graduate degree (woohoo). And as of late, I don’t have many regrets or “I should’ves or could’ves”. I don’t go to bed at night thinking, “Man, if only I would’ve done this or that” or “When I am going to stop being afraid of saying how I feel” or “Is there more to life than what I’m currently experiencing?”. I NOW go to bed thinking, “I’m exhausted. It was a good day of caring for others” or “Can’t wait to get up tomorrow morning and listen to folks” or “I wonder what Christina’s thinking right now?”. :)
The point is that living life requires taking risks and I don’t believe that we’d like life without risk. Even God is a risk taker. He created you and me. :)
The church plant is a definite risk for my family and I. It’s made me uneasy at times thinking about the task at hand. It’s made me wonder how things will turn out…what type of pastor will I be…how will people respond…if people will want to commune with us. It’s also made me feel excited and joyful because of the possibilities of caring for others. It’s made me jovial at the thought of doing what I most love to do…be a friend to all. I think that captures the heart of Jesus…a friend to all.
So, I risk time, energy, money, career path, rejection, loss, pain, frustration, and maybe even my emotional/mental state 
But…(and there’s alway a but)
…if I don’t risk going forward with this vision/dream within, I risk feeling depressed and disappointed…experiencing regret and remorse…not caring for an individual who recently tried committing suicide and we were able to care for the person and family.
The heart of God summons us today through our hopes and desires, inviting us to risk…risk being loved and loving others…risk being healed and becoming a wounded healer…risk facing your fears in order to help others face theirs.
Risk.
Dream.
Dance.
